February 10, 2011:  Univ-onics

My "residence hall" is no norm
You knew back in nineteen hundred and whatever.
So please do not call it a dorm.

That class about a basic skill
Is not developmental or remedial:
A "foundation class," if you will.

That vile freak sitting next to me
Is not simply a classmate to be ignored:
"Cohort"—"learning community."

The man teaching me history
Is neither an adjunct nor a part-time teacher:
Part of "contingent faculty."

Last assignment before I leave
Is no term paper, senior thesis or project:
My "capstone," if you can believe.

Oh, above all, don't even think
To label me with the archaic term, student:
"Customer!"  (I have it in ink!)