The Vaccination Fight Song
August 19, 2021
How does a college navigate
A population that will not vaccinate?
Does it vacillate between acts
Of castigation, deprivation,
And compensation, remuneration?
Do we follow the lead of Quinnipiac,
The potential liability act,
Of denying wi-fi,
And charging exorbitant fines
The leavers will never pay back?
Maybe we sneak in fees,
The practice of malfeasance,
Between activity and technology,
$1500 like Rhodes in Tennessee:
Nice compensation for campus unease.
Or, do we do as Purdue
With a paid tuition lottery,
Provide a year free,
(funded rather surreptitiously
Through federal relief).
Maybe it's pizza or, God forbid,
Chick-fil-A for everybody,
Or at least the eighty percent
Who already would consent
To the poke anyway?
My head is spinning,
The fatigue is setting in,
The patience is wearing thin:
Don't worry, I've had the vaccine,
But still have the herd to rein in.
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