March 8, 2025

If there's one thing I have learned from transcribing JFK assassination documents for the National Archives the last week, it's to be leery of what personal items are left behind when you die.

While I am not exactly sure when, at some point after JFK's death, the Dallas police searched various places where Lee Harvey Oswald had been living, taking away personal items as potential evidence. These items were turned over to the FBI who then interviewed Oswald's widow, Marina, showing her a number of photographs of these items, asking her if she could identify/explain them.

I am not sure how many total items were seized, but the specific items shown to Marina number close to 140; given that each item was associated with a letter (perhaps a "lot" recognition) and then a number given either by the FBI or Dallas police for cataloging, I am assuming the total number could have easily been closer to a thousand. A number of these were pictures from Oswald's travels to Mexico or Japan, or, of course, the Soviet Union. Marina also has to identify many letters and notes she received from family, friends and acquaintances from the Soviet Union. There are volumes of The Worker, The Militant, and lots of Cuban propaganda, including a picture of Castro cut out from a magazine. These are somewhat understandable in terms of FBI questions, but overall, the list is rather mundane and certainly seems to suggest the FBI were on a fishing expedition. What else are we do do with the fact that Marina must identify/explain the following:

• A world map (Holy cow, I probably have three, what would that mean?);
• Two dictionaries (Two? What were you thinking, Lee?);
  
• Paperback copies of The Spy Who Loved Me and Live And Let Die (God forbid, the dude wanted to read James Bond books!);
• Photographs of medicine bottles (Marina had apparently studied pharmacy in the Soviet Union, so you'd have thought the FBI might have a clue about those.);
• Embroidery patterns, including one of Russian characters (Now that is a way to pass secret messages, through quilts and throws!);
• Books on Russian art, poetry and demographics (A little culture can go a long way, you know. "Yeah all the way to the left," grumble the FBI.);
• Shopping lists written in Russian (You mean, seeing "borscht" didn't make that obvious?);
• Postcards from Mexico (Poor Marina: "Why aren't you asking me about the postcards from boring Schenectady? Otyebis!")
• An empty suitcase ("What was kept in here, Ms. Oswald!").

I hope no scandal is hanging over me when I die. As much crap as I have, the Edwardsburg police and the FBI would end up with at least a quarter million pieces of evidence. Good luck to Pix if she has to identify (let alone, explain) much of the effects of the dead David Fleming. Perhaps the following accounting can help her when she struggles to remember (someone may need to remind her of this blog.):

FBI agent: The first thing we have, very troubling, Ms. Fleming is a Vladimir Lenin nesting doll, which turns out to hold a tiny bottle of unopened vodka. Explain this.

Pix: That was a gift from his mother after they visited Russia. I forgot there was the vodka in it. Can't believe we never drank it. Or use it for a nice penne vodka.

FBI agent: Here are two huge biographies on Josef Stalin, Rocnoka Fleming, along with biographies of Rasputin, Peter the Great, and The Commisar Vanishes. It seems you and your husband had quite a fascination with Russia/Soviet Union. Are you closet communists?

Pix: Sheesh. We have hundreds of books on art. Did that make us secret artists? The same for books about science. Were we part of a Secret Society of Scientists? Russian history is fascinating, especially under a despot, like Stalin. Certainly we figured we would never live under a despot. Ah, we were so innocent at one time.

FBI agent: It wasn't just the Russians, Ma'am. We found the book Dear Leader: My Escape from North Korea by Jang Jin-Sung. Explain that one, Ma'am.

Pix: Oh, that wasn't even his, that was mi . . .  you know, I have never seen that before. I have no idea how that got in the house.

FBI agent: You going to use that weak line to explain these four Gang of Four CDs? Where are his other Mao records, Mrs. Fleming? 

Pix: Wow, do you even pay attention to popular culture? They were a pretty loud, industrial-sounding punk band. Personally. I would have preferred the Mao.

FBI agent: What about this book, Bathing in Public in the Roman World by Garrett Fagan? Were you swingers, Mrs. Fleming?

Pix: Come on! Try and read one paragraph of that book. It's pure academic writing. It will turn you off faster than a bucket of cold water.

FBI agent: So, when did you and your husband travel to Rome?

Pix: That's the "ancient" Roman World, you twit. You know, Caesar, Cicero, Caligula?

FBI agent: {To his co-agent} Did you get those names? Check to see if they are in that address book.

Pix: {Rolls her eyes and secretly gulps a glass of wine}

FBI agent: Fine, let's move on. How about this copy of Forensics & Fiction by D.P. Lyle. For how many years, Ma'am, has he been researching death and murder?

Pix: Have you seen all his true crime books? His hundreds of mysteries. The man was a tad obsessed. The answer to that question may be, "his whole life."

FBI agent: And The Private Investigator's Handbook?

Pix: Did you look at the subtitle? It is a guide to "protect yourself," not a manual for getting away with a crime.

FBI agent: We could be stuck on books all day. One more that stands out, this book on New Orleans Cemeteries. The book fell open immediately to page 53, Ms. Fleming, featuring images of former New Orleans mayor "Dutch" Morial and voodoo queen Maria Laveau. How do you explain this?

Pix: Good God, that's probably one of hundreds of books he took from his parents after they passed. Shall we go through all of them? Dolores had a book on dollhouses that you might really get a kick out of.

FBI agent: Ma'am, watch the attitude. In the photographs, we found multiple photographs of parties. Your husband appears to be passed out in all of them, Mrs. Fleming. Did he have a drinking problem? Was he sharing state secrets before he passed out.

Pix: Sheesh, those are all from his undergraduate days. Go ask one of his dorky friends. And I am pretty sure the only state secrets those idiots would have had would have been made up ones about Penn State.

FBI agent: We also found maps of dungeons. Where are these dungeons, Mrs. Fleming? Was he hiding dead bodies there?"

Pix: It was that damn D&D crap! Again, go ask the dorky friends. I wish they had all hidden their own dead bodies.

FBI agent: What about his black notebook?

Pix: {confused} He had a black notebook?  What the hell? I am going to kill him. Were there names in there?

FBI agent: It's hard to say, Ma'am. There's all sorts of rambling writing. We were hoping you could help us make sense of this gobblidigook, Ms. Fleming. We can barely read any of it. There's half-started attempts at creating crossword puzzles, lines of poetry, song names, sports references, appointment dates, who knows what else?

Pix: Oh, that black book. He kept that by his chair for capturing random ideas. And I can't read his writing either. Good luck with that one.

FBI agent: Well, we're kind of short-staffed these days. Until we can translate it, we will have to put you under house arrest!

Pix: How long might that be?

FBI agent: Hard to say. A few months at least.

Hmm? This is all very scary. Maybe it will just be better if I outlive Pix.