February 12, 2012:  Pimp My Site

I'm the kind of guy who really hasn't changed his haircut in 35 years.  (Unless you count the butcher job I gave myself in 1978, refusing to spend money to get it cut upon my parents' request; this is the haircut that ended up in my Junior year high school yearbook--and thus on my name tag at my 30th high school reunion.)  Extreme makeover to me means changing the towels in the bathroom.

Thus, it was with great trepidation that I spent  three hours today working on making over this website.  In the end, it looks close to how it did 16 months ago upon first launching.  Most of my time was spent overhauling the blog home page.  And I've got a flash video in for one of the pictures on the home page. Wahoo!

What is it they say about lipstick on a pig?

I know there are design elements I should consider more carefully--text color can vary all over the place--as well as keyword updating that might snag an accidental tourist here as opposed to a core group of friends, family and acquaintances. I just can't bring myself to care that much.  In a media where only the self-indulgent survive, I suspect my tendency to self-indignation and self-infliction get me kicked off the island pretty quickly.

So, I'm willing to offer my website up to a reality show.  Let's bring in 10 web designers and have them pitch to me re-design plans for this website.  

Let's call it "Web Spin."  We'll bring in a giant spinning wheel (like the Elvis Costello spinning songbook); each episode contestants spin it and are forced to play with either a handicap or an advantage.  "Make the author look sexy!"  (Big handicap)  "Get 400 hits to the website in a 1 hour span."  "Get website on 'StumbleUpon."  "Bring 5 new sales of It's All Academic in a week." (Mission Impossible)  "Embarrass author's family" (Taking candy from a baby).

So, who is my celebrity host?  I'm sure they'll be breaking down my door to audition.  Hasselhoff could bring me the German audience.