November 13, 2024

If you want to play the U.S. Open,

Baby, you better be ready for a hard court,

None of that stupid clay

Or that sissy grass,

This is concrete and asphalt, sport.

If you want to play the U.S. Open,

Bud, recognize we ain't got time for love.

Everything is about advantage in

Your genes, your life, your circumstances,

That's how capitalism works, guv.

If you want to play the U.S. Open,

Boy, you better not come too high-strung.

Such a racket will cripple you,

Distract you and detract you

While the National Anthem is sung.

So, if you want to play the U.S. Open,

Friend, then let me be your witness.

Go for the jugular,

Obliterate your opponent,

And God forbid you think I mean tennis.