January 16, 2019

Michigan State University appears to be hours away from cleansing itself of its second coat of whitewashing in light of the Larry Nassar scandal. According to the Detroit Free Press, interim President John Engler, appointed in the wake of Mary Lou Simon's resignation, has submitted to the Michigan State Board his 11-page letter of resignation. Set aside the ego necessary to compose an 11-page resignation, and think about this second setback to MSU's credibility.

For the record, even though I live in Michigan, I have no particular interest in the University of Michigan and Michigan State University rivalry. I am not bringing this up as a pile-on from Wolverine faithful; if anything I find the MSU followers a slightly less irritating fan base than U of M's.  It is simply a recognition that MSU's attempt to curry political influence through Engler as Simon's replacement that I feel necessary to comment.  From the moment he started, Engler hardly projected a sympathetic image in the light of Nasser's crimes.  Then when he suggested this week that some of Nasser's victims craved the spotlight, he finally went too far.

And since his name has always made me think of Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters, I can't help but think of the theme song a little differently:

If there's something straining your livelihood,

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

If it's something threatening your manhood,

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

If you're seeing things turning your face red,

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

An invisible threat endlessly bled,

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

If you're desperate to fill the throne,

Pick up the phone.

Girlbusters.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

I hear she likes the press.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

Who you gonna call?

Girlbusters.

If you've had a a dose

Of a bitchy girl baby,

You better call

Girlbusters.

Let me tell you something,

Bustin' them makes me feel good,

I ain't afraid of no girls.

I ain't afraid of no girls.

Don't get caught alone, oh no,

Girlbusters.

When she comes with her lawyer,

Unless you just want concede to his honor,

I think you better call,

Girlbusters.

Oh, who you gonna call . . .

{Ad nauseam or ad infinitum as applicable}
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Seriously, MSU, live up to your current branding and advance the common good with uncommon will, not the common john.