|Everybody Can Be Bought
April 15, 2022
The ex-provost at Sonoma State University was paid $600,000 for not investigating her complaint.
I know this is no laughing matter, and the details certainly suggest the kind of dysfunction prevalent across many industries and institutions. However, you can't give hope to a world of beat-down provosts with headlines that say "$600,000 For Not Investigating Provost's Complaint."
Heck, it's Good Friday and our college is closed, but I'm heading into work to put a "Suggestion" Box outside of Human Resources. They are right next door to me anyway; I can save everybody the walk. I am working on my complaints now. Surely one is not worth investigating:
1) My office is too cold. My administrative assistant will back me on this one.
2) I am expected to deal with student complaints, but there's no one to deal with my complaints. I have been cancelled.
3) Three people failed to call me Dr. Fleming today. I have yet to receive an apology from any of them.
4) Instead of he/him, I want to use "his highness" as a pronoun. That request has been denied.
5) The night-time custodial staff are not cleaning well enough. I know because I can still read the "Help Me" written in dust on top of my bookcase.
6) The music from the student activity center is too loud when I am working out. (O.k., this one will never fly as no one ever sees me working out.)
7) Attending building project meetings is not in my job description.
8) Someone in IT is working remotely but I can't.
9) The president triggered me with a joke about English majors working at McDonalds. At $16 an hour, who will argue with that?
10) I still haven't been given that Margarita Bar requested in Capital 5 years ago.
Surely, one of these is worth $600,000 to shut me up. Heck, I will take $25,000 for each and make it an easy quarter million. I promise to go away quietly, taking my suggestion box with me.