August 25, 2022

Up in Heaven

St. Peter: Your majesty, we have a Google alert on your name.

God (setting down his lapdog and picking up his phone): Really?  What's newsworthy about that?

St. Peter: It appears your name has been used in another song.

God (sipping her Arnold Palmer while Arnold himself sinks another beautiful putt on the ultimate 19th hole): Not another country singer, I hope, wrapping himself in the American flag and me?

St. Peter: I don't think so.  Somebody called Young The Giant. The song is "God Made Man."

God (stroking its chin while it looks for red M & Ms): Alright, let's hear it. I never know why we go through this charade.

St. Peter: We have to protect your NIL. If those college athletes can now do it, you should be able to.

God (stretching their legs over their ottoman): What's the point? You know all the lawyers are down in hell.

St. Peter: We can cross that bridge when needed, sir, or, uh, ma'am, or y'all. I really wish you would stop doing that.

God: Doing what?

St. Peter: That shape shifting.

God: This is Heaven. What place should encourage fluidity more than here?

St. Peter: Whatever. I'll start the song.

{After a few seconds} God: Start the stupid song.

St. Peter: I have. Can't you hear the held guitar note or the soft drumming?

God: Dang it, Peter, you know how old these ears are. Turn it up.

St. Peter: Better?

God (stewing): Yes.  Hmm?  "You never know the weight of your crimes."  Nice first line. And at least this Giant fellah isn't screaming. I hate when they scream.

St. Peter: Young The Giant is not an individual, your holiness. They are a band of five.

God: Whatever. Shush, so that I can hear the song.  It doesn't blow out the speakers, does it?  Hmm, "your eyes open up to the sunrise far from here." You think they are writing about us up here, Petey?

St. Peter: I don't know. All of it seems rather mysterious.

God: Why can't more artists just say what they mean? Everything is always so couched in obscure references?

St. Peter: Hey, you're the ones that just complained about those country stars wrapped in stars & stripes.

God: Touche.  O.k. we're a couple minutes into this song and while the instrumentation is very lovely and delicate, Imma getting a little bored here.

St. Peter: Looks like it has a couple more minutes. Let's give it a little longer.

God (starting to snooze): Holy mackeral, what was that?

St. Peter: The screaming started, your highness.

God: What is he yelling?

St. Peter: "I wanted you to know that I don't."

God: Don't what?

St. Peter: No clue.

God: Wait, what are those other guys now singing?

St. Peter: "God made man and his reason."

God: O.k., pause it right there. I hate that. I did not make their reason. I gave them curiosity! Why would I give them reason given the beautiful, unpredictable world I made for them? Ugh! Why must I always rue that first Saturday?

St. Peter: You may be right, your Excellency, but I have to admit, in this song, that phrase is giving the song a killer kind of vibe.

God: Turn it back on then, but for once I might be ready to cross that bridge to sue. I need a lawyer. Where do we keep Satan's card?

St. Peter: Hold on, let's get through the song.

God: If I am going to be honest with you, and dang it, don't I have to be, this song is rocking. I bet this has all those groupies dancing feverishly.  Such a set-up for sin.  Speaking of ruing. . .  Oh, good, sounds like it is over.

St. Peter: I don't know, your greatness. The timer still shows close to a minute.

God: But we can barely hear anything.

St. Peter: A long fade out, I suppose.

God: Oh, me, wasn't once enough with "A Day In The Life?"

St. Peter: Apparently you made mimicry along with curiosity?

God: Oh, dear, I was so desperately trying to create something much different than the apes with humans. No wonder all these "reason-able" men came up with evolution.

St. Peter: So, do I get a lawyer? I found a card: 666-SINNERS.

God: No, let me just grab my clubs and go out there and hit a round with Arnie. All will be right with the world.

Young The Giant. "God Made Man." Young The Giant. Roadrunner, 2010. Link here

Day 176: Chet Atkins & Mark Knopfler "Yakety Axe"

Day 178: Blue Oyster Cult "Death Valley Nights"

Unfinished list here.