July 20, 2012:  Thoroughly Random

Five thoroughly random thoughts for a Friday:

1)      O.k., let’s start with the thoroughly depressing: Mashable.com reports (thanks to a World Bank study) that cell phones will soon outnumber humans.   The article points out the positive value this expansion of mobile technology can have for employment and education, as well as the reach of mobile networks into less affluent countries than the U.S. I predict I will still lose service, though, as soon as I cross the freaking Michigan/Indiana border.  Good news for the landfill business, I guess.

2)      Let’s move on to the thoroughly arrogant:  Many sources are reporting on the Big Ten’s proposal to grant the Big Ten Commissioner “unilateral” power with its schools, including the ability to fire university coaches.  This proposal comes in the huge aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky/Penn State University scandal, which even after his dying days, Joe Pa kept asserting had nothing to do with football.  Give me a break:  EVERYTHING has something to do with football at major universities.  Otherwise, there wouldn’t even be a proposal like this that could grant Big Ten Commissioner Jim Delany such “unilateral” powers.  Read Dan Wetzel, Josh Peter, and Jeff Passan's Death to The BCS to see just how much power Delaney can hold.

3) I am thoroughly convinced running for President would suck.  President Obama apparently had to run a gamut of octogenarian (what is the word for 90-99 year olds?) kisses when he spoke in West Palm Beach.  (Read the article to hear how indignant one gentle[old]man was when Obama referenced just “Palm Beach.”  I wonder if said gentle[old]man goes, “That’s ‘West By God’ Palm Beach.”)  Check out the picture too.  It looks like the one woman is ready to go open mouth on poor Barack.

4)  In the thoroughly humorous, with a smack of smugness, category, check out the story of 1600 turtles escaping to freedom from their Georgia turtle farm.  Let’s hope the hard-headed, well hard-everywhere-but-the-head, little guys and girls find a better life then the pet growing operations and un-named opportunities in China.  Still, I can’t help but see 1600 turtles slooooowly escaping across an open field, everyone of them with the head of John Cleese as Sir Lancelot attacking the Swamp King Castle across an open field unseen by clueless guards in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Let’s hope each of those turtles found his or her own, uh, idiom.

5)      Finally, I am thoroughly bored by any discussion of who is leaving American Idol and who may be joining.  How is this show still around?  Whenever a show generates serious conversations about replacing Steven Tyler of Aerosmith with Charlie Sheen, you really need to pull the plug.