|The Work From Home Employee Manual
April 7, 2020
Feel free to steal from my recent Work-From-Home Employee Manual. It has been tested and approved by the entire home -- 3 people and 2 dogs.
Welcome From The President -- "We have no president. Only a patriarchal pig would assume presidency of this home."
Company History -- "We have been a home for 31 years. For 30 years and 11 months, we existed peacefully as a Limited Liability Company. This family has been the ideal hybrid of wage-earners and a small staff of volunteer(s). However, since March 13, the home has added work. Initially perceived as an ideal merger, this company is still sorting out its future in this brave new world."
Mission Statement -- "We strive everyday to get to the dinner table without killing each other."
Vision Statement -- "The work-from-home is looks to make it to the next day, whatever day of the week that may be."
"Personal space is more than just the masking tape on the floor separating work desks."
"Zoom meetings do not have to be broadcast throughout the whole house. Headphones and a mute button are musts."
"Company meals are not assumed to be handled by the female staff."
"The security staff need to be fed twice a day. Scraps tossed from the work desk do not count as meals for them."