December 10, 2021

Thursday I participated in a holiday-party scavenger hunt at Southwestern Michigan College. My office was one of 7 stops on the hunt as employees raced to find pictures of an Elf on A Shelf in each of those locations.  (As cluttered as my office is, it should have been find the Nutter in the Clutter.)  I didn't write the clue to find me, but it was pretty difficult. I sat there with a bowl of Starburst Candies (a treat to keep them motivated) for a long time before people started to find me. (Suffice to say, there were a lot less Starburst once they got there.  Leaving me with a bowl of candy is akin to leaving Rasputin alone with Russian noblewomen.)

Turns out that the contestants had to edit a press release (as if they let the CAO write the press releases!) for spelling errors/typos, then connect the errors to see the number 4, which then corresponded with my office from a list at the bottom of the page.  I guess the "writing/editing" was supposed to be the deeper clue.

It did get me wondering, though, why must finding the Chief Academic Officer in a scavenger hunt have to be so difficult? Why did I earn such an obscure, circuitous clue?

Then I remembered my industry.  There's a reason higher education is the poster child for customer run-arounds.

Even more so, then I remembered today's Curriculum & Instruction meeting, academia's annual version of a scavenger hunt.  Faculty propose something and the series of "have you thought about this?" or "did you realize that?" questions quickly send us scurrying for answers.

Pity the poor faculty member who comes with an earnest proposal:

Scavenger Hunt Stop 1: The number of credit hours will affect financial aid.  Go talk to them.

Scavenger Hunt Stop 2: The math course you have chosen for your program has a pre-requisite.  That adds 3 more credits to your program. Where will you list that course?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 3: That psychology course is not accepted by that big-4-year institution down the road where most of your students transfer.  How should we advise them?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 4: That course number for your new course was used in the early 2000s.  It can't be used again because that number is associated with the previous course (and content) on everyone's transcripts from that time. What number do you want to use?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 5: That English course you put in the fourth semester is only offered in the Fall. Fourth semesters will usually be Spring semesters. What do you want to do?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 6: That Program-specific writing course you want to offer will only be for your students. Can you justify that with so few students all probably unlikely to take the course at the same time?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 7: You want to allow your course to run concurrent enrollment with the pre-requisite course. What will happen if the student fails the pre-requisite course at the same time he/she is passing this course?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 8: You say that you will allow satisfactory placement test scores as an exception to a pre-req.  What exactly is satisfactory?

Scavenger Hunt Stop 9: Your changes to your program equal 25% for total changes over the last three years.  You need to submit the changes to the Higher Learning Commission for continual approval to offer the program and be eligible for financial aid. 

In other words, you are back at Financial Aid. You do not collect $200.