March 9, 2015

It has not been a good week, a good month, a good year, a good decade for fraternities.  And I have gotten to a point when even though I have good friends who have been part of the greek system, I can no longer tolerate them (the fraternities, not the friends).  Just consider these recent stories:

Oklahoma frat videotapes racist song

Michigan frats cause massive damage to ski resort

Texas frat holds border patrol party

West Virginia frats write letter to local newspaper complaining about "harassment" (my word) following a "brother's" death in the last year.

(In the latter, I don't know what is more embarrassing to my alma mater, the original death, the response of the IFC, or the appalling use of "their" for "there" -- assuming that was captured correctly in my source.)

Overall, this is so troubling.  All four of these are large state flagship universities where thousands and thousands of kids go willingly as part of a branding exercise that for many started when they were two or three years old.  No one is going to take on these universities for their graduation rates, but how about we take them to task over a much more serious problem: the acculturation of young kids into an archaic greek system?  The greatest damage done by Rolling Stone with their University of Virginia unconfirmed rape story is that any legitimate criticism of this system is even more difficult to sustain now.

I am not sure there is much original I can say here.  Instead I turn to The Eagles' "The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks" (song and lyrics here).  Depending upon your views of The Eagles, this is either already parody and satire or just another indication of how The Eagles seemed to want to play both sides of a cultural fence (c'mon, you don't put Glenn Frey, Joe Walsh and Jimmy Buffett, one of the background singers, in the same room and not condone that which your lyrics might suggest you condemn).

Anyway, instead I offer:

The Geeks Don't Want No Greeks (Disco Expanded Version)

There was ink all over the paper

And the president was getting the blues.

They were sexist, racist boors

But once they ran out of Coors,

Who now whined about stereotypes

That we all use?

Now the geeks don’t want no Greeks.

The geeks don’t want no Greeks.

No more kissing of the mooned ass-cheeks.

Cause the geeks don’t want no Greeks.

They’re the proud and passionate legacy,

They’re doing exactly what their daddy had planned.

They’re the perfect little clique

Until somebody threw a brick

Through the glass façade and got suspended

And banned.

It doesn’t help when the IFC speaks;

Still the geeks don’t want no Greeks.

No, the geeks don’t want no Greeks.

The geeks don’t want no Greeks.

“Their” for “there” shows learning is weak.

And the geeks don’t want no Greeks.

No, the geeks don’t want to Greeks.

They're the ultimate mob mentality

Just take them to a resort to ski.

One drink becomes ten drinks

And suddenly no one thinks

To stop brothers and sisters from half a mill

Of pure idiocy.

Such are the penalties a president seeks.

As the geeks don't want no Greeks.

No, the geeks don't want no Greeks,

The geeks don't want no Greeks.

God forbid a shutdown for weeks

When the geeks don't want no Greeks.

When the geeks don't want no Greeks.

Ahh . . .