November 15, 2017

Boy, a headline often must write itself.  From The Korea Times: 'Wild Boars Storm University."  I don't think this article corresponds with anything from President Trump's Asian trip, but I could be wrong.  Boar is such an easily confused homonym.

I am sure many read that headline and scoffed that "the boors stormed the universities long ago," or told others, "this is nothing. Wake me up, when the boors leave the university." 

I rarely do this, but I reproduce the brief article below to show how easily the whole story can be changed to reflect what many in the masses believe about academic boors.  My apologies to Park Si-soo, the writer of the original story.

Here's the original:

Dozens of wild boars stormed a university in northern Seoul on Wednesday, terrifying students and damaging some facilities.

Nobody was hurt by the wild animals, believed to have descended from nearby Mount Bukhan. Security guards at Seoul Women’s University are on alert because the boars can reappear at any time to find food. They appear more frequently in winter.

The university said nearly 20 boars were seen in front of the College of Humanities at around 1:15 a.m. Wednesday.

A janitor, the first to see them, said it was the “biggest in scale” he had seen on campus. The school called in hunters with rifles the next day, but the boars had returned to the mountain.

In metropolitan area, wild boars are classified as “hazardous” animals and licensed hunters are allowed to catch or shoot them.

Footage from surveillance cameras shows six adult and 10 baby boars roaming around the campus that night. But witnesses said there were more.

Seoul City has received 232 complaints about wild boars by September this year, and captured 61.

The school asked students and employees not to walk around the campus late at night, especially in areas linked to Mount Bukhan.

Here's what many critics and cynics about higher education would read (my changes in bold):

Dozens of wild boors stormed from a university in [insert any college town] on Wednesday, terrifying students and damaging some facilities.

Nobody was hurt by the wild animals, believed to have descended from tenured professions. Security guards at [insert your beloved] University are on alert because the boors can reappear at any time to find unsuspecting prey. They appear more frequently in winter semesters (as they get grumpier during the long academic year).

The university said nearly 20 boors were seen in front of the College of Humanities at around 1:15 a.m. Wednesday.

A janitor, the first to see them, said it was the “biggest in scale” he had seen on campus. The school called in hunters with rifles the next day, but the boors had returned to their offices.

In metropolitan area, wild boors are classified as “hazardous” animals and licensed hunters are allowed to catch or shoot them.

Footage from surveillance cameras shows six full-professor and 10 associate professor boors roaming around the campus that night. But witnesses said there were more.

[Your sleepy little town] has received 232 complaints about wild boors by September this year, and reprimanded 61.

The school asked students and employees not to walk around the campus late at night, early in the day, at lunchtime, frankly anytime especially in areas linked to academic offices.

Most days I find this inference about academics as self-absorbed boors ignorant.  But, on other days, I can sometimes see how those of us in academia are painfully self-absorbed.  Even more painfully, based upon the looks of the students who watched my guest lecture on Punk Music today for Introduction to Pop Culture, I can be as boring as the next boor.