July 14, 2025

Dr. Rue: Good morning, David. How are you today?

Dave: Isn't that a loaded question in your therapy circles, doc?

Dr. Rue: Not always. Sometimes we're polite for politeness' sake.

Dave: Well, then I am doing all right. I do have a question for you as a starting point for the day, if that is acceptable.

Dr. Rue: Of course. Fire away.

Dave: How much of your background and training has been in organizational psychology?

Dr. Rue: Hmm?  Interesting question. Well, it might be pedantic of me, yet useful to the answer, by pointing out to you that it is often actually called Industrial and Organizational Psychology, often abbreviated to I/O, as you can see on my business card.

Dave: So a good bit, eh?

Dr. Rue: Yes. Now I have to ask, why?

Dave: I had a faculty member whose specialty was Organizational Psychology, something she pointed out to me dozens of time. And that is not a slam on her, but an observation of how often that topic could be, or should be, applied to our workplace.

Dr. Rue: She suggested that the college could benefit from her expertise?

Dave: Not always that directly. More often it was an observation that, for example, our performance evaluation process could use some org behavior strategy. Or, that, our training programs were lacking. That kind of stuff. And trust me, I never disagreed with her. 

Dr. Rue: Did the organization not want her input?

Dave: I suppose not. Focus groups always set her off. We'd do a focus group and she'd be appalled at how inappropriate and ineffective they would be. But that's the problem with a college: the faculty with the expertise are rarely asked for that expertise as it pertains to the college's operation: the business faculty walk around muttering about how the business part of the institution was lacking; the English faculty are stunned at the quality (or lack thereof) of the writing about the college; and my organizational behavior faculty member laments the inane ways we went about building and supporting the organization. However, the administrators didn't want to be lectured, especially since they believed the faculty lacked the real world perspective. The distrust of "egghead" academics that is in our American society starts not when one steps off a campus, but when one steps out of a classroom.

Dr. Rue: As usual, all of this is interesting, but the question is still begging to be asked: why are you thinking about this now?

Dave: Well, organizations are supposed to help promote work/life balance, which in my case always seemed like the work/life imbalance. I was always one of the top three culprits in not using all my vacation time, and while I was conscious in encouraging my direct reports to focus on that balance, I failed to heed it myself.

Dr. Rue: You wouldn't have been the first to fall off that balance beam, Dave.

Dave: I know. However, what strikes me through retirement is I may still have that imbalance, which is troubling, since there is no work, hence nothing to freaking balance

Dr. Rue: Well, that gets to the core reason for this therapy.

Dave: Do you think, doc, that the concepts key to I/O can be applied to less formal organizations, such as the family?

Dr. Rue: Wow, that is a turn. I suppose they can be.

Dave: It's just that I've started wondering if some of my tribulations with retirement are because my family and I weren't on-boarded to retirement very well . . . who am I kidding, if at all.

Dr. Rue: That is a fascinating take. Given that -- allow me to review my notes -- you describe that you "left work on a Thursday afternoon and by mid-day that Friday, I found myself (at least technically, if not mentally) retired." What happened in that 20-hour period? What conversations did you have with your family?

Dave: Well, the first one was with my financial consultant, who quickly comforted me with the fact that financially I could make retirement work. Then I mostly just processed with my wife, son, and sisters about what that might mean. At the time, I thought I might need to consider some part-time work, or some consulting to bring in extra money, or at least the consideration of volunteer work or golf as a way to structure some of my time. But none of those were needed, in the case of the money issues, or evolved, in the case of the pastime, with the exception of some disappointing volunteer transcription for the National Archives.

Dr. Rue: And your family supported you throughout those discussions?

Dave: Absolutely.

Dr Rue: So, what's troubling you? What kind of on-boarding, or more accurately, off-boarding should have occurred?

Dave: Well, it's fifteen months later and retirement continues to feel like stagnation. I get together fairly regularly with friends, but at home things chug along without much variation. I was interested in having us go to an Art Festival this weekend, but a bunch of minor things got in the way. There's always a feeling that "you're retired, you'll have plenty of other opportunities in the future."

Dr. Rue: I seem to remember you saying once that the lack of urgency in retirement was a good and a bad thing. This is the bad part of it?

Dave: Generally, yes, but broader than that is something tied to an organizational goal for the family. I have retired friends who travel a lot, who routinely participate in volunteer organizations or golf leagues. I just wonder if the fact that they could see their retirement coming allowed them to assess with their friends and families what that kind of life would entail. If I had had more time, would I have gauged my wife and son for how my retirement would affect them and get some input from them on the transition? As it was, I simply kind of melded into their already established lives.

Dr. Rue: That sounds rather formal, not like you at all. Thinking back to I/O, are you suggesting that the Flemings needed to account for the anxiety associated with change management?

Dave: Oh my God, not that phrase! I have had enough of "change agents" in my life.

Dr. Rue: Don't shoot the messenger, David. I am merely trying to connect the dots in the picture you are drawing me.

Dave: {After several seconds of silence. Sigh} I suppose you have hit the nail on the head, doc. What do I do with that?

Dr. Rue: Well, you could call that faculty friend of yours and ask her to lead a family focus group.

Dave: Uh?

Dr. Rue: I'm joking . . . mostly. 

Dave: What does the I/O field emphasize in terms of outboarding an employee, not so much in terms of a termination, but in terms of a retirement?

Dr. Rue: Well, you know, the crap that is about protecting the institution: returning technology, closing out accounts, doing the paperwork, maybe holding an exit interview. None of that is preparing the soon-to-be-ex employee for their next stage of life.

Dave: Nothing about dealing with emotional baggage?

Dr. Rue: No.

Dave: Nothing about managing a different home life?

Dr. Rue: Nope.

Dave: Nothing about re-examining your identity?

Dr. Rue: What do you think?

Dave: Hmm?  Maybe I could start a consulting firm: The Off-ramp and the Out-board: What To Do When You Sail Into The Sunset. 

Dr. Rue: I thought you were inherently against consulting.

Dave: Well, I am, but there is a need, doc. Even fellow retirees who had a more typical send-off tell me they are having trouble adapting.  I'd be consulting to help individuals, not institutions.

Dr. Rue: Whatever puts your mind at ease, Dave.

Dave: Besides, there are so many hours in the day now. It has to be more interesting than the damn transcription work.

Dr. Rue: We could double these therapy sessions. Feel free to schedule additional sessions with my secretary on your way out.

Dave: No, I think we are getting just the right amount of each other, doc.

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The Ever-Evolving Full Series of Sessions

Session Six: Story Time