May 21, 2025

Session One: In which I visit an imaginary counselor to address professional memories.

Dr. Rue: So, tell me, Dr. Fleming. Why have you come to me?

Dave: I'm not really sure, Dr. Since I retired I have been trying to reflect on my career, but my memories come in pieces, and often tinged with negativity.

Dr. Rue: Interesting. Give me an example.

Dave: Wow, we're wasting no time, are we? I think my problem is that I feel overwhelmed by potential examples.

Dr. Rue: Well, pick something early, something from the beginning of your career. I see that your first full-time teaching position was at Detroit College of Business. Tell me of a troubling memory from then.

Dave: It was a good first position. Got lucky with the death of a long-time English faculty member, and as a recent adjunct there, with a freshly minted Ph.D., I got lucky and was hired to replace her.

Dr. Rue: Ah, so you feel some guilt about that?

Dave: Uh, no. What kind of doctor are you, trying to add to my troubles as opposed to helping me deal with the ones I got?

Dr. Rue: {Holding his hands up in surrender} O.k., sorry. So proceed.

Dave: Well, I got a bit of a shock finding out that I had to be in the faculty union when I took the job.

Dr. Rue: Oh, yes, back in the pre-Rick Snider days. No "right to work" law.

Dave: You got it. I'm from West Virginia and understood why coal miners needed unions, but a professional union was a puzzlement to me.

Dr. Rue: Sure.

Dave: But, I paid my dues and tried to stay out of it, but lo and behold, with a unit of 33 or so long-time faculty, it became clear very early that the mantle of President of the Association could not be avoided. Within a couple of years, I had gone from trying to avoid the politics of the union to being one of three editors of an Association newsletter and the leader of a small unit of the Michigan Education Association spread over two campuses.

Dr. Rue: It probably helped you in gaining skills that led to your eventual transition to administration.

Dave: Maybe, but it was rough. The problem is that we were such a small unit. The MEA couldn't give a shit about us. I would have been fine with that, but my fellow officers felt differently. Bill and Don were good guys, and I have lots of fond memories of their friendships, but they were constantly pushing to try and make us stronger and/or bigger. Good god, they set up a meeting with the UAW to see if they would take our unit.

Dr. Rue: The autoworkers, eh? That seems like a stretch.

Dave: I thought so, too, but I guess other faculty in Michigan were organized through the UAW. The one meeting we went to I felt I was in the opening scene of The Godfather, being asked to kiss the ring of a Don at the end of a very long conference table.

Dr. Rue: So, this is all very interesting, but I am not noting a particular stumbling point to your memories of it.

Dave: I'm getting there. At some point, in this mission to grow the unit, it was decided to try and recruit adjunct faculty. With well over a hundred of them in any quarter, having them as part of a unit would have changed the dynamics.

Dr. Rue: I can see that.

Dave: But, here is where the problems start. Despite the passions of my vice-president and secretary, somehow I ended up as the person doing the recruiting. And since this needed to be done at a time when we had all of the adjunct as a captive audience, it would have to be at a kick-off meeting to another academic year. To this day, I don't understand how I ended up being the only one of us circulating in the ballroom of a Detroit hotel room, letting my chicken or fish get cold, while I went around with fliers urging the adjunct to join the union.

Dr. Rue: So you regret ending up with a cold dinner?

Dave: No, not really, although that never helps. No, in this small window of time, probably 45 minutes, while administration is preparing for the night's presentations and discussions, here's the Association President, young, hotshot English faculty member, doing his best Norma Rae.

Dr. Rue: Nice image. You're not as cute as Sally Field.

Dave: Tell me about it. Anyway, it didn't take long for the boss, the Vice President of Academics, the man who hired me, Dr. Bob, to come grab my arm. To Bob's credit, he uttered no profanity, issued no threat, used no violence. As best as I can recall, he simply said, "Dave, do you have to do that here and now?"

Dr. Rue: How did that make you feel?

Dave: Really? That cliché?

Dr. Rue: Sorry. Proceed.

Dave: Well, it made me feel pretty shitty. Honestly, I can't remember what I said, if really anything. However, I did immediately stop and went back to my table. I have no idea how many fliers I actually got circulated, but I am pretty sure we got no interest from the part-time faculty.

Dr. Rue: Were your colleagues, uh, Don and Bill, upset with you?

Dave: I don't remember so. Maybe they are talking with their therapists about their guilt dumping the recruitment on me.

Dr. Rue: We can only hope.

Dave: Bill even paid me a very nice compliment at one point, upon meeting my parents, praising me as a "consummate politician."

Dr. Rue: Whoah. Please don't shoot me, but how did that make you feel?

Dave: Pretty good. And it spoke to that tightrope I walked between the two worlds as Association President. The funny thing is that I stayed Association President through two terms, which included one contract negotiation, one contract re-opening negotiation, and being attacked by passive-aggressive union members for being too chummy with the administration. Maybe I was. Let's face it, Dr. Bob became a major supporter for my career, providing me references for most of my applications to upper-level management positions.

Dr. Rue: So, what's really the problem here?

Dave: I don't know if I ever apologized to Bob for that moment.

Dr. Rue: Is he still alive?

Dave: Yes.

Dr. Rue: Then apologize.

Dave: An apology thirty years later? That seems rather lame. Besides I think there is a point here that others, younger, still evolving in their careers, could learn from this.

Dr. Rue: Then tell them

Dave: Well, I am retired. Kind of off the circuit with no interest in getting back on the circuit. But, that might need to be another session.

Dr. Rue: So, what are you doing in retirement?

Dave: Mostly writing.

Dr. Rue: Then write about this.

Dave: I tried. Started with a chapter for a memoir, which seems incredibly arrogant. Then tried writing a poem, but that seems really pretentious.

Dr. Rue: Looks like you are stuck.

Dave: That's what you think. Why the heck do you think I have come to you?  See you next time.

Dr. Rue: {Muttering under his breath} Why do I feel used?

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Session #2: When I Solemnly Swear

Evolving Full Therapy Sessions