June 11, 2025

Dave: Good morning, Doctor Rue. How's it going?

Dr. Rue: It's going. What would you like to discuss today?

Dave: You're the one taking all the notes, doc. Perhaps you should tell me.

Dr. Rue: I merely keep a record of the conversations. You're the one that identifies issues robbing you of enjoying retirement.

Dave: Well, nothing's really coming to me.

Dr. Rue: {Irritated} Then why aren't you enjoying it fully?  Having any money issues? Regretting retirement before Medicare could kick in, or before you could get maximum social security benefits?

Dave: Neither of those are guaranteed anymore anyway. No, financially I am good.

Dr. Rue: Let's think beyond the money. You have gone whole hog in stepping out of academia. Aren't you interested in consulting, like many of your peers do?

Dave: {groaning} Thanks a lot. Now you've gone and said the "C" word.

Dr. Rue: Ah, I have struck another nerve. I seem to remember the "C" word upsetting you last week. Let me review my notes.

Dave: See. I told you. Your notes are all you need.

Dr. Rue: Oh, that's right. You went off on Peter Drucker and his ilk.

Dave: Consulting businesses are the biggest scam in higher education, doc. And that's saying something in an industry replete with Jenzabar, Oracle, Sourcewell, Nelnet, Touchnet, whatever's-most-current-net.

Dr. Rue: O.k, I am completely lost.

Dave: Jeez, doc, don't you ever read my stuff? I ranted about these cottage services right before the pandemic. A little homework on your patients might be helpful in your job.

Dr. Rue: {Under his breath} Like I have time to read all your drivel. {Loudly} While not entirely on our agenda, I do think in the future we should address your feelings toward therapists. I sense unhealthy anger towards us.

Dave: You ever see "Local Hero?"

Dr. Rue: No. Why?

Dave: Never mind. You'd never get the "madman on the roof" reference.

Dr. Rue: Can we get back to the matter at hand? The problem with consultants?

Dave: They're all a scam, doc.

Dr. Rue: That's a bit of a generalization, Dave. Want to try and justify that statement?

Dave: Let me put it this way: the best thing about being a consultant is also the worst thing. You can be honest about the organization that's hired you, throw necessary grenades in when conversations get blocked, and walk away with no blood on your hands. But the blood is still back at the scene. You are as ephemeral as a gust of wind.

Dr. Rue: My oh my, you are never one to mince words. Can you be more specific?

Dave: I have been on search committees for high-profile executive positions where the outside firm is brought in to "help manage" the process. These companies reach out for potential candidates, sell the institution to the outside world, review applicants, and basically present the candidates they like to the search committee. O.k., yes, the committee will see a list of 40, 50, 60 or more names of applicants, but only the top 10 as identified by the "consultants" will be guaranteed to have a full discussion among the search committee. In essence, institutions are outsourcing their most important decisions.

Dr. Rue: I am not sure I understand. Why would a college do this?

Dave: It's in the interest of saving time for the institution, and to be able supposedly to tap into the extensive network provided by these consultants that only do this one thing: recruit executives.

Dr. Rue: There is some logic in that. Does it save money?

Dave: Hah, not even close. Usually these search firms are paid by some percentage of what the final offer is to the candidate hired. That fee can be as high as 50% of the salary offered. But don't forget the expenses added to that, especially for the consultants traveling all over the place. Or the infamous airport interviews.

Dr. Rue: Do I dare ask? Airport interviews? What does Dulles have to say?

Dave: Good one, doc. No, first rounds of interviews are often held at hotels by major airports to allow candidates who haven't yet told their current college they are interviewing elsewhere can sneak in and out unseen. Meanwhile, your 5-8 search team members incur the costs of travel to the hotel and often a night with lodging and food.

Dr. Rue: Interesting. However, in going back to what you implied a few minutes ago, if that hire doesn't work out, the search firm doesn't have to deal with the fallout, right?

Dave: Ding, Ding, Ding.

Dr. Rue: I'm beginning to wonder why I don't see more of you academic types in my office.

Dave: Well, we all pretend to be too smart to need counseling anyway.

Dr. Rue: O.k. I concede. I will stay away from the "C" word.

{Uncomfortable silence}

Dave: I suppose at this point, I should offer a confession.

Dr. Rue: I'm not a priest, Dave.

Dave: I know. Besides I prefer the soft couch to the hard bench.

Dr. Rue: Just go on.

Dave: Here's part of the problem, Doc.  I've done the consulting thing. I am no better than these common vermin.

Dr. Rue: Oh my, I do think this requires some more information.

Dave: It was one time. Someone asked me to help their professional organization within the state of Michigan to run a one-day retreat to discuss the group's strategic plan and organizational culture.

Dr. Rue: And your expertise to do this was  . . . 

Dave: Networking; relationships. One of the officers recommended me, the president interviewed me, and we came to an agreement for me to run the day-long session.

Dr. Rue: Are you telling me you feel guilty about doing this? Or something else?

Dave: Guilty, as charged. 

Dr. Rue: Did you, or perhaps I should ask, do you, feel like a charlatan?

Dave: Not particularly. As I remember, the day's sessions and conversations went pretty well. The President and other officers seemed very happy with the progress they made that day. I remember they had some personality clashes that I was warned about ahead of time, and at some point I had to make sure they addressed some of those elephants in the room. I lobbed my grenade and walked away unscathed.

Dr. Rue: Did you make a lot of money?

Dave: I suppose I could say they got their money's worth, as overall I think I only cost them about $500, plus expenses.

Dr. Rue: So, why the guilt?

Dave: Because I could walk away. I remember just a little bit of follow-up with the group after that to see how things went. My gut tells me that the momentum from the day was soon lost, not helped by the fact that as a professional association, these folks probably only saw each other once or twice a year.  But see, that is why overall consulting is a scam. It's like a drive-by shooting with no skin from the game, or to stick with the metaphor, no shell casings left by the fleeing gunslinger.

Dr. Rue: So, how do we want to end this session? Have you had any breakthrough? Anything you want to do, to change?

Dave: {after deep thought} What's your first name, Dr. Rue?

Dr. Rue: Salvador.

Dave: Really?  Wow. Well, do you mind if I start calling you Salvador, or Sal?

Dr. Rue: Sal would be fine, but why?

Dave: Because a lot of these consultants have doctoral degrees in all sort of b.s. (small case, doc) programs and the tendency almost always, is for them at the beginning to tell a new institution, "just call me doc." In talking with you today, I am having flashbacks of having to explain how my job worked three or four times to "doc," of having to kowtow to "doc's" request to "go around the room and have each of us use one word to describe the day," of explaining to "doc" that summertime is not vacation time for a college administrator, of having "doc" get rich off of my institution's core work.

Dr. Rue: I hear you. So consulting is out as a retirement gig.

Dave: Well, I've always believed in the "never say never" philosophy, doc. I might do it if I could have my own business. Maybe find a good partner, maybe I could have some fun doing it. Like I said, I would always be the one able to walk away. Call me a hypocrite.

Dr. Rue: I'll call you "hypocrite," and Betty, when you call me, you can call me Sal.

Dave: I like you more and more each day, Sal.

The Ever-Evolving Full Series of Sessions

Session #3: Measured By Measure