Dr. Rue: Good morning, David.

Dave: Good morning, Dr. Rue. So, anything from the lawyers about an HR discussion?

Dr. Rue: You wasted no time going straight there, David. We did get an answer, but it's a pretty strong "we wouldn't recommend."

Dave: Leave it to the lawyers to not give a definitive answer.

Dr. Rue: Their job is to assess risk, and they suggest there is too much risk if you start hammering on HR. 

Dave: You ever hear of the book "The Good Nurse?"

Dr. Rue: As usual, I am getting whiplash from your non sequitur. 

Dave: Patience, doc. "The Good Nurse" is about a nurse who was able to kill multiple patients, intentionally, mind you, not accidentally, across many health care systems, in part because every time he got fired, he was able to get another job very quickly with virtually no in-depth reference check of his previous employers. He is able to kill dozens of patients because the medical system was too desperate for a "good nurse" to take the time to vet their candidates.

Dr. Rue: O.k, I think I now know you well enough to know where this is going. Sounds like you want to complain that a more formal HR office at these hospitals might have saved some lives. I still recommend we go no further with this.

Dave: God, no. I would never argue for more formal HR offices.

Dr. Rue: C'mon, David, this is probably not smart. Once I asked counsel about this, you know we ended up on someone's radar.

Dave: Over the years, my HR departments have told me not to contact people . . . 

Dr. Rue: Honestly, David, drop this.

Dave: . . . who I know at institutions where a candidate previously worked; to . . .

Dr. Rue: David!

Dave: . . . leave reference checks to them, since they were afraid I might not ask the standard . . .

{Phone Ringing}

Dr. Rue: {Picking up phone} Yes, Becky?

Dave: Questions. Or, that workplace romance with a superior was harassment (even if caught on a jumbo . . .).

Dr. Rue:  {Still on phone} Tell them to sit tight, Becky.  David, the lawyers are in the waiting room. They are pleading for us to stop.

Dave: I even had one who refused to uphold an HR policy. And the President let her!

{Loud banging on the door.} {Voice from outside of room.} Let us in! Let us in NOW!

Dr. Rue: David!

{Two attorneys in top-of-the-line suits knock down the door.}

Attorney #1: You really need to shut down this conversation.

Attorney #2: Correction - we really encourage you to shut down this conversation.

Attorney: #1: {Under breath}  Sigh, I will never make senior partner.

Dr. Rue: David? Shall we stop?

Dave: {After a minute of pouting.}  Fine. 

Dr. Rue: Gentlemen, I think you can leave.  {The two attorneys scurry out like rats.}

Dave: He'd ask you to shut the door, guys, but that would be a waste of his breath.

Dr. Rue: Becky, take your break and make sure the outer door is locked. {Becky races out.}

Dr. Rue: O.k., David, this has become a farce. Can we get back to being serious? What else can we discuss besides HR?

Dave: I don't know.

Dr. Rue: We've covered your decisions to go into academia, to switch from teaching to administration, to adapting your management style, to eventually retiring. What are we missing?

Dave: Those seem like the big ones. I suppose we could discuss some frustrations with conferences, although we touched upon those also.

Dr. Rue: It sounds like you are reaching.  What's still bothering you?  

Dave: HR. But you don't want me to go there.

Dr. Rue: That's a little unfair. You're the one that posts these sessions. If we were maintaining true patient/doctor confidentiality, I would let you rail away. 

Dave: I believe in transparency, doc, especially since insurance wasn't covering much of these sessions anyway. You do know that insurance benefits, or lack thereof, are something else that I associate with HR?

Dr. Rue: {Sigh} You've turned into a one trick pony, David.

Dave: Honestly, maybe this is all I need from you anymore, Doc. 

Dr. Rue: You think we should end our sessions?

Dave: Honestly, doc, I think we have accomplished what I wanted. I think I've come to peace with my career and the abrupt retirement. It's time I clean out the other half of my closet, the one with the ties and dress shirts I couldn't part with last year. Maybe I will go home and do that final symbolic act.

Dr. Rue: Sounds like you are serious. Are you sure, though? Today's session has revealed some unrest.

Dave: I'm tired of baying at the moon, doc, especially a waning one.

Dr. Rue: Interesting. Is this because you are tired of talking about these things or because you realize now that the moon is what it is, regardless of how much we talk about things?

Dave: Pretty much the latter. Yes, the sudden end to my career probably took away some opportunities to eradicate a few issues with imposter syndrome. It would have been nice to see any potential final appreciation. Nevertheless, these sessions have also helped me balance the hopes and dreams I had with my career versus the reality of what I could do. I can't go back and change events, and our last session reminded me I don't want to change the long-term outcomes that came after these events.

Dr. Rue: That's enlightening. It seems a great distance from the uncertainty I noted when you first came here.

Dave: I have a feeling if we keep doing this long enough, I will see myself become the villain.

Dr. Rue: {Sigh} And then you go dark on me.

Dave: Dark Knight.

Dr. Rue: I am aware of that.

Dave: Besides, I seem to remember you saying in one of our early sessions that when our careers end, the world we inhabited moves on, often without much thought of us. The moon's going to go through its cycle again, and all my howling ain't gonna change that. Besides there is so much more to howl at.

Dr. Rue: That sounds troubling, David.

Dave: I just finished a great book that concluded with the idea that while people have to take personal responsibility, societies have to take collective responsibility too. And all of us have to live with the consequences.¹  If I am going to exhaust my energies, I'd rather have it be toward the lack of collective responsibility in this country.

Dr. Rue: I do think you have come to terms with a lot related to your career. Let's leave it at this: We will not meet at our next scheduled times. Just know that I am here if you ever feel the need to return. Just call Becky to make an appointment. The door is always open.

Dave: Hah. Can't afford to get it fixed after today?

Dr. Rue: Are you kidding? The paperwork I'd have to do. . .

Dave: Aha, you do get it, doc.

Dr. Rue: I will say no more. Come back when you feel the need, David.

¹ Younge, Gary. Another Day in the Death of America: A Chronicle of Ten Short Lives.  New York: Nation Books, 2016.

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Session Ten: Origin Story

The Full Series of Sessions