Circa 1985

What's it been, a year

Since the quick flash of pain,

The puff of smoke signifying the end?

Perhaps a solitary tear

Fell, leaving a nasty stain

On the heart of a lost friend.

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It was that moment in the street

Where we almost did not realize

What a passing face once meant.

Still, we did stop to meet,

With avoidance of each one's eyes,

And any long-forgotten sentiment.

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You see, I am an intensely private man,

For years has stayed within his bounds.

Any opportune time to express a feeling,

I withdrew with nary a sound.

When I wanted for you to break the icy exterior,

I rushed too quickly to the front.

While I was ready to reveal some emotion,

You reeled from the brunt.

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I can remember the innocence

That was the light that guided

Us through our insecurities.

Holding hands was intense

Enough to keep us from what peers decided

In the back seat of a beat-up Chevy.

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As time passed, I passed 

Through our initial fear and shame

To a higher plain of sharing.

My next move became my last 

Before lightning and thunder came,

A man now overbearing.

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You see, I am an intensely private man,

For years has stayed within his bounds.

Any opportune time to express a feeling,

I withdrew with nary a sound.

When I wanted for you to break the icy exterior,

I rushed too quickly to the front.

While I was ready to reveal some emotion,

You reeled from the brunt.

--------------------------------

Now I have a new memory

To replace that faded, dirty one

(getting dirtier with every rerun in my mind).

What was it I had seen

As you left me on the corner stunned.

Wondering about things I should have left behind?

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Meanwhile, the answer is weak

Like the words I use to try and express

Just how our relationship rose and fell.

You didn't have to speak

To make me feel a total mess

Now home and alone with words I'll never tell.

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You see, I am an intensely private man,

For years has stayed within his bounds.

Any opportune time to express a feeling,

I withdrew with nary a sound.

When I wanted for you to break the icy exterior,

I rushed too quickly to the front.

While I was ready to reveal some emotion,

You reeled from the brunt.